annoying things in email and a top hat

I hate it when I open my email and see something titled "Job Offer" and it is some probably non-existent company, trying to get me to take surveys and participate in focus groups. FOCUS?! I can't even focus on my life for more than 25 minutes let alone a product... I doubt I'd be trying any products I'd deem worth evaluating... I wonder how many little kids in China that make that shit get to participate in surveys and focus groups about these products? I think they should get the job offers first seeing as how you can make up to $550/week (supposedly), then maybe they wouldn't have to work in factories.

Another annoying thing is of course the general spam. I don't know what I have done to receive so many ads for viagra. I assure you dear scammers, I do not need viagra.

I have also apparently won the UK lottery about 200 times (no joke) and have several unknown relatives from Hong Kong and Cape Town that have kicked it and left me fortunes. Uhm? I am not saying it's impossible that I have relatives in these places but I am fairly certain it is not so... Not only that but why the hell would they leave me any money? What I feel bad about is people that actually respond to that crap and get their credit card or social security numbers stolen and utilized. I know this happens only because someone I know (and no, I wasn't friends with this person) actually did this and received a check which was of course, fake... This is America people, money never just gets handed to you! I can't believe people actually fall for that nonsense.

I was telling a friend yesterday that I am interested in re-vamping my style by constantly donning a top hat. Her response was that then people would expect me to talk fancy all the time because I'd look fancy. I tried to argue at first that I did in fact "say fancy shit all the time." Cursing is apparently not fancy. Then I tried to argue that I could defy convention and curse like a truck driver while wearing a top hat. To which she stated, "abort" but mainly because if I should have to start talking fancy she might and she doesn't want to. I'm still considering the top hat though... fancy talk or not. I mean I think she just likes to use the word "abort" because I once asked her and my fellow charming co-workers to write down one sentence each re: a really hectic night at work. Since for whatever reason, there were a lot of children that particular day, many of which were also poorly behaved and ended up sitting in her section (which then looked like hippie jamboree), she wrote,"ABORTION!!!"

Stolen From Google:

Note I am not naming her because well, she's since "moved up" in the world (read: she has to get up 'stupid- early' BOO!) as many slingers o' food and charm do... after having precisely that thought about 5 million times, and not always re: children.

Yeah and I've lost you...